Front Row

Do you go to the dungeon to find out
How to make peace with your days in the dungeon
Writing a letter to you didn’t make me feel any more peaceful then
How I felt when we weren’t speaking because I didn’t cop to what I did.
I can’t love you because we’re supposed to have professional boundaries.
I’d like you to be schooled and in awe as though you were kissed by god full
on the lips.

I’m in the front row the front row with popcorn I get to see you see you close
up
I’m too tired to recount the unpleasantries one by one one minute
I want to banish you the next I want to be on a deserted island with you along
With my three favorite cd’s ambivalent yet in your bed
We’ve yet to acknowledge what really happened slid into the ditch
I have this overwhelming loss of ambition we said let’s name thirty good
reasons
Why we shouldn’t be together I started by saying things
Like “you smoke” “you live in new jersey (too far)”
You started saying things like “you belong to the world”
All of which could have been easily refuted but the conversation was
hypothetical
I am totally short of breath for you why can’t you shut your stuff off…..

i’m in the front row the front row with popcorn I get to see you see you close
up
And I laughed until my lungs hurt I love how you bust my chops
You don’t always feel seen sometimes you feel erasable unfortunately I cannot
reciprocate in my current state
I think we should be careful of how much time we spend together … for a
while i’m speaking you know
How much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend some time alone to fill up
your proverbial cup
So that it doesn’t always have to be about you i’ve been wanting your
undivided attention
I like the fact that you’re nothing like me are you not burdened
By the lack of perspective people Have of your charmed life (seemingly)?

I’m in the front row the front row with popcorn I get to see you see you close
up
You never meant to be ungrateful nor held up to be whipped or wept for
certainly
Not analysed prodded at more ways than one apparently you’ve been
misrepresented dealing
With the concept of arrows being slung towards your outrageous fortune hey
I’m not mad at you guardian i’m mad at myself for spending so much time with
you and your jeckyl and hydeness
I’m glad i figuratively slapped you on the wrist you laughed a wicked laugh
and said “come here let me clip your wings!”
( I know he’s blood but you can still turn him away you don’t owe him
anything )
“Raise the roof” he yelled “yeah raise the roof!” I yelled back
( Unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize )
No thanks to the soap box. having me rile against them won’t make an ounce of
difference…
I’m in the front row the front row with popcorn. I get to see you see you
close up oh the things i’ve done for you
Many a sitch a friend a man’s been left for you oh the books i’ve read for yo
The tongues i’ve bitten for you many a new city for you many a risk taken for
you (not a single regret)

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